True Refuge Read online

  He swallowed against the burn of the raw emotion that was visible though Nick’s gleaming jade eyes.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Euan whispered apologetically.

  Nick broke their connection and hung his head. ‘Would you stop saying that?’

  Euan’s brow creased but he remained silent as Nick continued. ‘You act as though everything that happens to us is your fault. That places like that exist because of you. That the plague stole humanity because Euan McKay couldn’t save it.’

  ‘Nick—’

  Nick tilted his head so that his eyes could meet Euan’s. They were a sea of tortured green, of open heartache. ‘It’s not your fault, okay.’

  Euan narrowed his eyes. Of course it was his fault. Not the plague, no, but what had happened in Nirvana was because of him. If only he’d been more cautious or more careful, smarter or stronger, they might have avoided it all. They might have saved the girl …

  ‘I mean it! I know what you’re thinking,’ Nick barked, standing up, his hands flying to drag his fingers through his matted and sweat-soaked hair, his glistening eyes daring to gaze upon the woman. ‘You couldn’t stop what happened back there. You couldn’t save her. You can’t save everyone.’

  ‘I don’t want to save everyone,’ Euan muttered belligerently.

  Nick’s laugh was humourless. ‘Yeah you do. If you could save the world, you would.’

  Euan filled his lungs. His throat was on fire, his body ached and his knees felt weak, almost at the point of giving out. He ignored Nick’s comment and the uncomfortable feeling it left in the pit of his stomach. ‘Let’s get this done,’ he muttered. ‘Mickey-O will send men after us. Our tracks will be easy to follow. We’ll swim the river for a while to lose them.’

  Nick studied him for long moments and Euan kept his face impassive. They both knew that words alone with never alter Euan’s beliefs. Finally, Nick acknowledged Euan’s stubbornness with a solemn nod, despite the dissention that tightened every muscle of his fatigued body.

  They buried the woman in a shallow grave beside the slow-moving river. Nick muttered a prayer and Euan remained silent as they built a cairn over her resting place in an effort to keep the wild dogs from disturbing the body. Each rock they placed formed a shield around her mortal remains, while also giving them the opportunity to mourn, as they both knew that as soon as they had finished, their flight to safety would continue.

  The silence was heavy between them as the dawn grew in strength and they departed the sacred site with reverence, Euan directing them into the river where they swam with the current in an effort to hide their tracks from any who might follow.

  That night, after travelling through the daylight hours with little rest, they finally found shelter in an abandoned car, their bodies shaking with exhaustion, their clothes damp against their skin, their minds empty of everything except the primitive need to rest.

  However, the effort to find sleep was futile. Nick shuddered through constant nightmares and Euan’s anxiety had his eyes remaining open despite his tiredness.

  His thoughts were angrily swirling around inside his head. He’d risked Nick’s life on his thirst for vengeance, and as much as he wanted to put it in the past, it still spun around like a vortex inside him. He wanted to destroy everything that was Nirvana, everything it represented, every facet of degradation that it encouraged. He hadn’t seen a sign of either Parker or Rodgers but he knew it was only a matter of time before they settled in that place. And now he had another to add to the list of men he wanted to see dead. Mickey-O would die by his hand. He didn’t know how, or when, but in the dark he swore it. Nick was wrong; Euan definitely didn’t want to save the world. Right now, he wanted to destroy it.

  Nick was the first to acknowledge their sleepless state and broke the quiet from where he rested along the back seat of the car. ‘How’s your arm?’

  Euan rolled his shoulder in answer and stretched out his offending limb. Surprisingly it was unbroken, the piercings from the barbed wire shallow. It still pained him, and the bruise that had developed consumed most of his upper arm, but it was usable and he had felt little need to complain, all things considered.

  ‘It’ll do,’ he muttered.

  Nick shuffled, trying to find comfort in the confined space. ‘Where to from here?’

  ‘We continue west,’ Euan grunted.

  Nick heaved a heavy sigh. ‘I’m sorry about before. What I said. I know everything you do is for me, for us.’

  Euan found it hard to talk past the lump in his throat that had grown bigger with every step they’d taken that day. ‘Don’t be.’

  Nick coughed. ‘You’re everything to me, you know that right?’

  Euan was glad for the anonymity provided by the darkness. ‘Same goes, kid.’

  Nick laughed humourlessly. ‘After Nirvana? Think I got that.’

  Euan let the silence, suddenly achingly sweet and comfortable, stretch out between them. ‘We’ll find a house far away from here and we settle until we grow old, yeah?’

  Nick snorted. ‘You mean I have to put up with you, and only you, for the rest of my life?’

  Behind Nick’s teasing words, Euan heard the affection, the relief. The hope.

  ‘Yeah. So get used to the idea,’ he murmured with conviction.

  Chapter 11

  ‘I think we’re about here,’ Euan said as he pointed to a spot on the map the next morning. ‘I think Nirvana was here, and we want to be looking for a house around here.’

  Nick nodded in agreement, his eyes following Euan’s finger as it moved over the map spread out on the hood of the car, both of them hunched over to protect it from the wind.

  Euan kept his finger held down on the page. ‘Anything out here would need to have backup power as the electrical grid would be unreliable. I’m thinking a good country estate that was built to last.’

  Nick was silent while he contemplated Euan’s comments.

  ‘That’s a long way, big man. A month’s walk at least,’ he finally uttered as he gauged the distance between the two points Euan had referred to.

  ‘It is,’ he agreed. ‘I want to be as far away from that fucked-up hellhole as possible.’

  Nick lifted his head. His blonde hair hung roguishly over his brow, his green eyes flashed in agreement, and a faint smile played around the corners of his lips.

  His Nicky was returning.

  Euan had been watching for the man’s depression to rear its aggressive head. Given all that had taken place, all the trauma they’d endured, he assumed Nick would slip even further into the abyss of self-loathing.

  But it hadn’t occurred, not yet at least. His ordeal and distress still writhed on the surface of his mind—his reoccurring nightmares were testament to that—but the crater that swallowed the light from Nick’s eyes was beginning to close.

  However, he was still exceedingly hesitant around Euan. Though any inadvertent touch from him did not elicit the trembling cringe it once had, he’d still flinch and evade physical contact. But Euan saw the improvement as a small win, regardless.

  He would do everything in his power to continue to see Nick return to his naturally amiable self; his goal was nothing short of seeing elation on Nick’s face one day, and one day soon.

  They ate a quick lunch, boiling eggs they’d pilfered from a nest high up in one of the trees Nick had been able to climb. Neither of them had said anything when they discovered the baby birds inside were more than half developed, and consumed the much-needed sustenance. Once they’d packed up their small camp, they continued on their way in the direction Euan had favoured, keeping their pace brisk, their vigilance constant.

  Their shadows were minimal and the warmth of the high-noon sun beat incessantly upon their heads when they came across a gate in the fencing that ran along the side of the road.

  Nick stopped and hefted his lean body over the wire fencing. ‘Let’s investigate this one? See what we can find?’

  Euan looked to the padlock on the
gate. ‘Doubt we’ll find anything. We’re still too close to Nirvana.’

  Nick’s grin was radiant, causing Euan’s thoughts of concern to fly from his head. ‘It’s three days’ journey. And it can’t be any worse than what we’ve already seen, right?’ Nick argued.

  Euan let his gaze turn to the stretch of overgrown driveway that disappeared around a small rise in the pasture in front of them. The weeds that spouted through the gravel were copious, and not likely to have been impacted by human or machine in years.

  But he still remained cautious.

  Euan pulled out the unloaded Glock from the waistband of his worn pants and handed it to Nick. ‘Stay alert, yeah?’

  They were watchful as they stalked down the ravaged driveway. It was long, winding its way through a ridge of small hills. Within an hour, they were surrounded by tall trees that blocked out the sun. The forest was not native, and Euan could tell by the symmetrical way the trees had been planted decades before that privacy had been in mind, considering most of the land in the area was cleared for grazing.

  The intentions behind such fortuitous preplanning had Euan’s instincts tingling. The hairs on his neck prickled.

  He held up his hand.

  ‘Got a feeling,’ he told Nick, who halted in his tracks at Euan’s signal.

  He scanned his surroundings, registering the dappled lighting that danced along rough tree bark, the stillness of the foliage where the wind was unable to penetrate the thick overhanging canopy, and the multitude of dark, hidden recesses between the dense population of trunks.

  There was nothing blatantly amiss. But his gut was still sour.

  Euan indicated they should continue forward with a flick of his wrist and began moving once again between the knee-high weeds that grew through the gravel road.

  They carefully traversed the disintegrating path through one final bend, Nick now with his ineffectual weapon held high and Euan with his focus strained on his surroundings, his fist wrapped around the hilt of his knife.

  When they finally rounded the curve, the shock of what was before them brought both men to a standstill.

  The forest had come to an abrupt end, leading out to a flat plain where a modern home sat imposingly on an expanse of green pasture. The predominantly white, single-story homestead was not large, but its solitary presence consumed their vision.

  The greenery surrounding the building was short and well tended. The windows were perfectly intact, the gutters were clean and the paint was not peeling.

  And sundresses were swaying on a wire line in the middle of the lawn in the breeze like bright fairies, dancing in delight. The flimsy fabric caught easily in the wind that was not stifled by the trees and fluttered as though the dresses had wings. They were so astoundingly perfect, completely untainted by the barbarity that they had just trawled through, that it almost caused Euan physical pain to gaze upon them.

  ‘You can see them too, right?’ Nick whispered at his side, his voice thick with emotion.

  Euan had to clear his throat before he replied. ‘Yeah, I can see them.’

  ‘I never thought I’d see something that beautiful again.’ Nick’s voice broke as he spoke.

  Neither did Euan. It was an impossibility, a vision so rare and profound that he found his breath caught in his throat.

  It was in that moment that he realised the implications of such splendour in a world where demons ruled and payment for hope was made with blood.

  He tore his eyes away from the spectacle and once again scanned the trees. This was bad. Fucking catastrophic. No one with a brain between their ears would put items of clothing that were so undeniably feminine out in the open. This was a calculated maneuver. One that heralded danger for any who were stupid enough to approach.

  ‘What do we do?’ asked Nick, his voice hoarse.

  Euan started moving backwards. ‘We retreat.’

  Nick’s neck snapped his way. ‘But—’

  ‘No buts. Back up.’

  ‘Euan, I don’t think—’

  ‘They’re not afraid,’ Euan hissed, keeping his eyes to the trees. ‘Whoever is here is fucking armed and they’re using those dresses as bait.’

  Nick blanched. ‘Bait?’

  ‘Bait,’ Euan confirmed. ‘Now back up.’

  This time, Nick didn’t hesitate.

  But when they turned together with the intention of escaping the way they had come, Euan’s knees almost buckled beneath him.

  Because no man could remain standing when his heart had been torn violently from his chest.

  She was as delicate as the pixies he had envisioned wearing those dresses. Her cropped hair was a riot of white-blonde curls, as fine and as fair as gossamer. Her features were elfin in nature, delicate and transparent. The expression she held was eager and the smile that beamed from her face felt as visceral as a serrated blade to the stomach. She had a rifle over her shoulder, but otherwise she was completely defenseless, wearing only khaki shorts, a threadbare t-shirt and a pair of beaten-up hiking boots.

  For a moment in time, Euan was rendered senseless. The world and all its evils ceased to exist; only Nick’s ragged panting breaths filtered through his dulled wits. He held her gaze. Sparkling eyes of crystal blue engulfed him, drew him towards an untainted heart, an untarnished soul. He pulled in a desperate lungful of air, and the reality of what she was crashed into him, pummeling him into realising the truth.

  Euan swallowed the sudden surge of dread that clawed up his throat and forced his gaze to shift back towards the forest. There would be an ambush at any moment. He had no doubt.

  He grabbed Nick’s arm with urgent fingers and pulled him behind his larger body. ‘Back up! Now!’ he roared.

  Nick faltered, slower to come to his senses, but at Euan’s demanding tone he quickly rallied. Both men turned to run, but an urgent, melodic, undeniably feminine voice followed. ‘Wait! I don’t mean any harm!’

  Euan ignored the shout and propelled Nick forward. ‘Into the trees, as fast as you can!’

  They had no weapons, which meant they had no choice. Running was now their only means for survival. They had walked straight into a trap. A trap that used a beautiful woman as enticement.

  As he crashed through the undergrowth, the muscles between his shoulder blades tingling in anticipation of a bullet striking him down, Euan realised he’d made another fucking mistake. Nick’s smile at the fence had impacted his instincts, and they were paying the price for his childish infatuation.

  He grabbed a fist full of Nick’s blonde locks and forced his head towards the ground. ‘Keep your head down and don’t run in a straight line,’ he bellowed.

  ‘Wait!’ the girl cried again, her voice falling behind them.

  Nick huffed in front of him. ‘Are you sure—’

  ‘Just run!’

  He did, they both did, as quickly as they could into the trees. Branches whipped at their faces and the thick mulch sucked at their boots. They tripped on protruding stones and stumbled over hidden logs. Euan’s breath was ragged, his heart was thundering, his hands pumped at his side.

  He was a fucking idiot.

  Anything that wasn’t abandoned this close to Nirvana would be well armed and well defended, and likely by the same type of depraved villains that resided in that cesspool. They’d used a woman as enticement. A perfect specimen of the female form. Her tiny body had called to his primal nature to protect. Her eyes had pleaded for him to care for her, cherish her and shield her. Her desperate smile had woven a spell to trap his heart.

  And he had almost been caught.

  Euan crashed into Nick as he paused mid-flight, almost sending them ass over tit in the scrub.

  ‘What are you doing?’ he demanded furiously as he steadied himself.

  The sound of heaving breaths was loud in among the trees. ‘Wait. Just wait. It doesn’t make sense.’

  Euan growled and shoved Nick forward. ‘It makes perfect sense. We gotta run. Go!’

  Nick avoided Eua
n’s efforts to push him forward. He lashed out, gripped Euan’s wrist, demanded his attention. ‘I just think—’

  But there was no time to finish his sentence.

  There was flash of white-blonde. Through the trees, a tiny woman launched herself over the dense undergrowth. Her boots landed nimbly, and a hopeful shine was in her eye as she stretched up to her finite height.

  Euan swore and took a step back. His boots slipped on the sodden leaf litter and black mulch that covered the fertile earth. Days ago he had stood before a goliath and snarled at Death’s attempt to steal his life. But before this fairy-like goddess, he was helpless, his strength and power rendered inert. Facing him was the embodiment of perfection; lean limbs, delicate and petite, she was the opposite of all they had seen and she had no likeness to the malnourished, emaciated women he was accustomed to.

  Her familiarity with the forest was in her favour. If her team chose to attack, they would fall.

  Euan grabbed Nick’s arm and pushed him with excessive force back in the opposite direction. ‘MOVE!’ he thundered.

  Nick finally did what he was told.

  ‘Wait!’ the woman called behind them, her voice breaking with emotion. ‘Please, don’t run away. I’m unarmed.’

  Euan did stumble then. Only his grip on Nick’s forearm stopped his face from hitting the dirt. Unarmed? Christ, what door of the Seven Seals had they passed through for this temptation to be offered? His instincts warred, his intuition battled. She called to every protective impulse he owned. But he wouldn’t allowed himself to focus on her weaknesses, the possibilities she presented or the promise of her innocence.

  All he focused on was escaping with their lives.

  They took no more than half a dozen steps before she almost caught up to them. Two men, scrambling for their lives in the dirt while one little woman avoided the worst of the hidden stones and logs with an agile grace. So close, he heard the flutter of her breath, the rustle of her clothing, the patter of her boots.